A Little Off-Topic RAGE for Anyone Paying Attention

My new bfff, co-worker and Buckeye fanatic, Nicole, sent me this email detailing her morning commute here in Columbus, OH. She uses a little choice language but hey, who can blame the girl? Please read and enjoy.

So we are at a level 2 snow emergency. That means that you should only be on the roads if you have to be. I feel like this is put into effect because Columbus doesn't know how to plow roads. Granted it has been snowing for eight hours +/- 2 days so there wasn't much notice so I understand. Maybe I'm just salty because it took me 25 minutes to chip all the ice off of my car. Maybe I'm salty because while I was doing that, my PJ pants froze to my parking lot. Really, who knows?

... and then there are the lovely drivers of central Ohio... I know it sucks out and it's scary to drive in the snow but give me a break. Some guy peeled out in front of me last night causing me to lose all control of my car. My options were a.) hit the asshole b.) hit the awful green minivan that was parked on the street c.) hit a nearby street sign which would not slow me down, possibly causing me to run into a house d.) hit a pedestrian. As I was screaming and sliding I picked the pedestrian (hey, he was skinny. I figured he wouldn't do much damage) but managed, by the grace of God, to stop before I hit any of the options. I get driving slow when it's like this, but is 15 on the freeway necessary? Oh and then when we see a car that wasn't driving carefully and ends up in a snow bank in the median, let's all slow down even more and stare. We aren't going to help but we just wanted to see what happened so that we can chitchat with our coworkers about "that car on 270 that was fine but was in a snow bank in the median." Very interesting. Or, better yet, lets slam on our brakes when we get close causing more people to slide. Ya, I like that option. What I love about this "accident victim" is that they were in the median, up to their ass in snow, quite obviously not moving AND not in anyone's way but they put their hazard lights on. Right. Important. Good thinking. It was those quick wits that got them into that situation in the first place.

Now, as I was gawking at said car with the flashing hazards my windshield wipers froze causing them to wipe all areas of the windshield clean except for that little square that I needed to see out of. My visibility became zero. I began to laugh. I also began to wonder why I don't keep alcohol in my car for the AM drive.


May I also mention that today is only the third time in 35 years that THE Ohio State University has cancelled classes. THE THIRD TIME IN 35 YEARS!!! This means that the weather is awful. I went to OSU for 4 and a half years and there were plenty of times where I should have had a sleigh and some reindeer to go to class... or maybe one of the dog sleighs that compete in the Iditarod... either way the snow was bad and we still had school. OSU takes this shit seriously. If OSU is closed because of a snow emergency then the entire STATE should be closed. Just a thought.

The first snow day that I was a part of was the first snow day in 30 years. This was January 2003 (aka my freshmen year). The snow was up to my eyeballs. I got drunk and went to a boys house to play beer pong, have a snow ball fight and then... Just how every snow day should be. The second time was last year which I also got drunk and played beer pong, weird. Numero tres is January 28, 2009. That's today people. I am sober. I am not playing any kind of pong... not beer, not ping, not even pong for Atari. And I am at work. I am not a happy camper. I might throw a hissy fit.

It took me 40 minutes today to drive what normally takes me 15. I've had a lot of time to think about this. That also meant that I checked my phone 40 times to make sure I didn't miss the "Hey, Work is Closed" call. This also gave me 40 full minutes to get even more furious about actually going to work. Then I realized that I had been on 270 for several miles with my right blinker... I am an asshole...


Candy K.

Where Have All the Good Salads Gone?

First, let me say everyone needs to get hip to Eat This, Not That: http://www.menshealth.com/eatthis/index.php. It's astonishing how much saturated fat, calories and sodium is in the food served up by many leading restaurants. For example, it is better to eat a Big Mac than a Whopper. Save yourself 220 calories and 18 grams of fat by making this swap.

Now begins my story followed by RAGE! Last week, Ashley, great friend and fellow dieter, sent me the Salad Hall of Fame according to Eat This, Not That as seen here:

Salad Hall of Fame

- McDonald’s Premium Asian Salad with Grilled Chicken

300 calories

10 g fat (1 g saturated)

890 mg sodium

- Panera Classic Café Salad

400 calories

11 g fat (1.5 g saturated)

270 mg sodium

- Au Bon Pain Butternut Squash Salad

280 calories

6 g fat (4 g saturated)

570 mg sodium

- Jack in the Box Southwest Chicken Salad with Grilled Chicken Strips

310 calories

12 g fat (5 g saturated)

840 mg sodium

-Carl’s Jr. Charbroiled Chicken Salad

330 calories

8 g fat (3.5 g saturated)

580 mg sodium

-Denny’s Grilled Chicken Salad Deluxe

290 calories

10 g fat (5 g saturated)

770 mg sodium

- Arby’s Martha's Vineyard Salad

272 calories9 g fat (4 g saturated)

609 mg sodium

No surprise to me that McDonald's Asian Salad with Grilled Chicken tops the list with a scant 300 calories and 10 grams of fat. This is a salad that I've lived and died by; delicious edamame, sliced almonds, mandarin oranges, mixed greens, snow pea pods, bell peppers and Newman's Own Sesame Ginger dressing (not included in the fat and calories but one packet at 90 calories and 2.5 grams of fat is more than enough to drench the salad). That is, until McDonald's DISCONTINUED the Asian Salad in the Columbus market. I've already emailed McDonald's for some sort of explanation. Just tell me the ingredients are too expensive and I'll pay MORE. Tell me the demand isn't high enough and I'll advertise! No, all I received (and why would I expect any more) was a form letter explaining how they cycle out the old for new, exciting product and they will contact the manager of my region. Who is this manager? Where is his office? Can I make an appointment to visit him? I've got the time. So my plan for bringing back the asian salad is in the works. Stay tuned for that. I might need your help.

Ashley and I were planning another one of our Sunday Bloody Fundays aka SBF. The plan: get in a good workout and do a good lunch to follow up. The only other salads that are available to us here in Columbus is the Panera Classic Cafe and Arby's Martha's Vineyard. So we planned on the Martha's Vineyard. We get to Arby's... NO MARTHA'S VINEYARD! What is going on? Am I in an alternate universe and I am receiving Salad Hall of Fame's from the other universe I'm not a part of? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! Thus, left with no option, I ordered the *NEW* Italian Chopped Salad and Ashley, the *NEW* Turkey Chopped Salad. I find that my salad comes filled to the brim with pepperoni, salami, banana peppers, tomatoes and a balsamic vinaigrette. Awesome dripping with sarcasm. Looking at the nutrition info, it's way more fat and calories than I wanted to take in. With 282 calories and 18 grams of fat before dressing, I could have gotten a regular roast beef and been happier. Ashley did smashingly with her 95 calories and 11 grams of fat and using fat-free dressing she had at home.

All I know is that I've been burned. The great loves of my belly are disappearing and a few of them I really need. I lost 30 lbs. with the help of that asian salad. Every person I know who tried this salad fell in love instantly. Damn you, McDonald's! You broke my heart... and my diet.

Candice K.